I’m up against 1122 other blogs
So am asking you, your parents and dogs
To vote for me and my little space
On the inter web, a kind of place
For me to write and you to read
About life and stuff and hence I plead
You please click on the button down south
And spread it round by word of mouth
‘Cause if I win I’ll be a happy gal
And happy gals are better pals đ
Counting Letters is my name
So vote for me to win this game
Blame Babe Walker: #firstworldpains, #firstworldproblems, #whitegirlproblems. Giving them any such title or category is ridiculously politically incorrect. I hate them but I love them, and I know you do too. Thus, I present to you a list of snags on which we really need to gain some perspective. Tell me your petty pet-hates and watch the list grow. Love you. Mean it.
1. Having to take 100 selfies in order to get one on your correct side from a reasonable angle where youâre not half blinking, have flat hair, a stupid duck face or evidence of your carroty fake tan
2. When your wardrobe is too full and you canât find anything to wear to uni/work/your friendâs place/the GYM (guys, itâs the gym â youâre supposed to look gross at the gym)
3. Worrying about whether plastic particles from a bottle of Mount Franklin water have plagued the 100% safe, pure, drinking water you are about to consume
4. Not knowing what the weatherâs going to do today and thus having to carry around an umbrella, sunglasses and jumper all day and getting to 8pm without needing a single one of them (#melbourneproblems)
5. Not getting out of class early, or even getting let out ON TIME
6. Not getting an HD/A+ on the assignment you did at 2:24am the night before it was due
7. Early morning lectures
8. Expensive (illegal) drugs
9. Purchasing a ridiculously stupid phone cover and having to live with the consequences (me, me, me and me)
10. Having too many things you want to watch on television
11. Not having Foxtel
12. Spending too much time on Facebook/Instagram/Twitter/Pinterest
13. Loosing a game of Candy Crush/Words With Friends/Draw Something/Angry Birds
14. Having to pay 25 cents when iMessage fucks up
15. Having to touch off your Myki (#melbourneproblems)
16. Metro
17. Metro
18. Metro? (#melbourneproblems)
19. Not knowing which pair of Nike Freeâs to get/wear
20. Generally having just too much STUFF
21. Cleaning your room
22. Going out all night, through the next day and then being âtoo tiredâ for uni/work on Monday
23. Hangovers
24. TOO MUCH CHOICE
25. Air conditioning that is way too cold (Solution: See Number Four)
26. Having to turn down your brightness in order for your iPhone to last a whole day (but seriously, câmon Apple)
27. Having too many invitations
28. Shops being closed on public holidays
29. Carrying around poo change
30. Thin, scratchy toilet paper
31. The âReadâ alert within Facebook messages
32. The demands of internet
33. Not having access to the internet
34. No reception
35. No right turns
36. Hook turns (#melbourneproblems)
37. Not being able to find the cold side of the pillow because youâve already turned it over too many times
38. Choosing a filter on Instagram
39. Loosing a follower and the pains of having to find out who it was so you can hate on them and un-follow them thereafter
40. Having to get all your friends to un-follow them too
41. Rain and frizzy hair
42. Sun and long hair
43. Shaving/waxing
44. Window washers
45. Door knockers
46. Automated replies
47. Mosquitoes and flies
48. Cash only payments
49. Places that donât split the bill
50. No lay buys
51. Spending $30 at Savers for six items
52. Notifications/push alerts
53. Lines at clubs
54. People that push their way to the front of the line because they âknow someoneâ
55. PSOs (#melbourneproblems)
56. ASOS (delete the App, your bank account will thank you later)
57. Any site that doesnât offer free shipping
58. Slow service
59. Punt Road (#melbourneproblems)
60. Bus service replacements on already failing train systems (#melbourneproblems)
61. The last cigarette/piece of gum and the feeling of emptiness that follows
I am writing a series of pieces documenting my thoughts on the lead up to the Australian Federal Election to be held on 14 September 2013. As a young woman, it will be my first experience of voting in a Federal election. I am not endorsing any particular party or politician. All opinions are mine unless stated otherwise, and while I will try to include honest information at all times, nothing should be taken as fact without further investigation. You can view my first post here.
What. A. Day.
For Australia. For Australian politics. For democracy. For Gillard. And for the Australian Labor Party.
I almost don’t know where to begin which seems crazy in that I only learnt of today’s events at 3:15pm. As I write, it is not yet 8pm. So all this has happened, been and apparently gone, finished, done, within a matter of hours. Now, that’s not to say today’s challenge within the Labor caucus came out of the blue. Such a statement would be dismissive of much debate and controversy documented by the media over the past weeks (and months, and years, depends where you draw the line).
On Wednesday, Foreign Minister, Bob Carr, urged journalists to ‘lift their game’ as presumably false reports came in that his support for Prime Minister Julia Gillard, had dropped. While Minister Carr has been a loyal supporter of former Prime Minister Kevin Rudd, for quite some time now, Carr confirmed that he was well behind the Prime Minister to lead the Australian Labor Party into the Federal Election in September this year. Despite this, no one was doubting the ruckus the Labor Party were in. This was confirmed by many, including Chief government whip Joel Fitzgibbon. However, yesterday he did say that he’d ‘not seen anything’ that would suggest today’s leadership challenge.
But late last night it became known that Simon Crean, previously thought to be a steady supporter of Gillard, was being pushed to offer himself as an alternative leader of the Labor Party. At the same time, Mental Health and Ageing Minister Mark Butler, confirmed his own support for Gillard.
All of this has occurred within the context of the last week of parliamentary sitting before the May budget. The agenda this week included the National Disability Insurance Scheme, Stephen Conroy’s proposed media reforms, the Murray Darling Basin Plan, and the national apology to those who faced forced adoptions. Much of these debates flew under the radar today, but the newly named DisabilityCare and Murray Darling Basic Plan passed, while the majority of Conroy’s media reforms did not. Most unfortunately, the apology regarding forced adoptions was largely stamped out by Simon Crean’s insensitive timing with his decision to call a leadership challenge.
The Minister for Regional Australia and the Arts demanded a ballot and simultaneously announced that he would run for Deputy if Kevin Rudd were to run for the leadership again. While Rudd has repeatedly stated he would not run for leadership, the public and to some extent, his fellow party members may have been right in thinking he would go back on his word. Politicians are known to be unreliable.
But true to character, Julia Gillard took all of the above in her stride and announced a leadership spill to take place at 4:30pm and warned jovially that others should ‘in the meantime, take your best shot’.
What followed all happened very fast. Kevin Rudd held true to his word and announced that he would not be standing for the leadership position. Thus, caucus met and Gillard and her deputy/Treasurer Wayne Swan, were reelected to their positions, unopposed.
Mr Crean has since stated that he was ‘surprised that Kevin Rudd didn’t stand’. No shit, mate. You’ve just caused a major disruption to parliament, made yourself look like a total dick on a national stage, and subsequently, you’ve been demoted to the backbench. All in a good days work, I suppose.
Many Ministers jumped on board to express their (reserved) opinions including Defence Minister Stephen Smith, who gave a calm response to the media, expressing that there were a number of people he suggested should consider their positions within the Party. Joel Fitzgibbon has already stated he would be taking the seven weeks between now and The Budget to do so, yet Smith alluded to others who should do the same. No names were mentioned. Ultimately, Smith stated ‘It’s over. That’s it.’At for the moment, it looks like it might be.
But what does this mean for the Australian Labor Party and the September election? The Party is in such a state I’m finding it hard to draw any conclusions what-so-ever, right now. But Opposition Leader Tony Abbott has sure found himself in a lovely place tonight. Additionally, Queensland Premier Campbell Newman has called for an election. He says the past two and a half years have been wasted by the Labor government at the expense of the nation.
Today has left the Labor Party in pieces. The Coalition are sure in a sunny spot and it looks like any success for the Labor Party in September has vanished. But as I tweeted in the heat of the moment this afternoon, ‘In Australia’s democracy, you vote for a Party, not a person. ALP voters must vote this way to avoid an Abbott leadership in September.’
So now it’s in our hands. You can pick and choose your people, and I’m not saying these figures are unimportant or hard to look past. But they shouldn’t necessarily dictate which party receives your vote. Remember, vote for the values, the policies and the government body as a whole. Because that’s the way our nation works. And that’s one thing that’s not changing anytime soon.
And for your entertainment, here are some screen shots of my tweets from earlier:
And this:
No Rudd. Caucus about to commence. It was a dark and stormy night… Stay tuned.
I’m a nominee for the 2013 Best Australian Blog Awards. I’m also up for a people’s choice award so I’d appreciate your vote from 5:30pm on Thursday 28th of March 2013.
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Spotted: Sarah Duckworth, telling it all: university life, parties, studying and following your dreams. Read it now and thank me later. You know you love me, XOXO Gossip Girl.
Exclusive: Sarah Duckworth Scoop
Choo-choo-chooing from a distance
Boom gates falling
Pedestrians stop, look, wait and wait some more
School kids clatter about, big bags and books on hand and back
A sea of brown, maroon, some blue and grey
Sports uniforms, blazers, prefects with duties to carry out
Angry teens now without protection from Melbourneâs unpredictable cold
Early arrivals home for those lucky enough to escape the workplace before five
Business suits, black, tall, heels, boots
Amongst the children, gossiping and waiting
Waiting, for their train to come
Kids yelling across the vacant space that separates the platforms
And then the void is filled with mechanics, engineering, a silver tube
4pm
Print publications two days in a row – lucky, or what? A snippet of this post appeared in today’s Age newspaper. You can check it out online here.
Additionally, check out this article written by Olav Murrlink, a Research Fellow at the Griffith University’s Griffith Business School. He explains the metrics behind the new advertising to content radio, and how it will impact upon revenue, content and presentation.
My piece Do Not Discriminate – In the Firing Line of Hate, has been tailored and published on We Matter Media, and now a similarly edited version has also appeared in RMIT’s student magazine, Catalyst. You can view it online here, but what is also exciting, is that it is my first print publication.
This is the first edition of Catalyst for the year and the new editors have totally revamped the style, facade and interiors of the magazine. It looks amazing. In addition, they’ve initiated and launched Catalyst online, which basically means you have no excuse not to read what’s on the minds’ of RMIT students no matter where you live. So bookmark it and be sure to check back regularly for updates.
Dear Fairfax Media,
Oh, what has come of this new Age?
Today marks The Age’s first edition in a new ‘compact’ format. But, unfortunately the paper I opened this morning seems to have been filled with more advertising than quality journalism one would expect from such a longstanding source of professional news reporting. I appreciate the arduous process you’ve gone through to establish, edit and produce this new Age, but the result is something much more like those trashy tabloids it sits next to in Victoria’s news agencies. The font, the increased type, the colour-coding system… they’re all lost on me, I’m afraid. And despite your claim that this evolution will make the paper ‘Easier to pick up, [and] harder to put down’, my personal track record is telling otherwise.
Maybe it was just the kind of day I’ve had: first day back at university for the year, new subjects, new people, early morning trains to catch, no seat to sit on on a peak hour train, conversations to be had, internet to distract me and breakfast to be eaten. But as I’ve mentioned I’m a loyal, daily reader of the printed news. And this paper is far from welcoming.
You say you ‘Got the answer, no questions asked’, but maybe you should have asked some questions.  You used experts (tick) to monitor readers (tick) using neurological technologies (tick) to gain insight into their unconscious (tick). It sounds impressive when you put it like that, I’ll admit. But consider this sentence – page 20, teal coloured News section of today’s edition – ‘More than 100 readers of The Age and The Sydney Morning Herald were asked to read both broadsheet and compact versions of the newspapers in real-life conditions…’. More than 100 readers of two major newspapers? That’s all you could manage? And real-life conditions? Shit, that must’ve been hard to emulate! Now tell me, Fairfax, what was the demographic of the sample you ‘asked’ to participate in your ‘research’? Were they representative of your current readership? The readership you’d like to gain? Or maybe those you’d like to lose? And you say results found compacts were ‘considerably more engaging…”obviously [with] great results for our advertisers too”‘. Well from what I can tell, the greatest advertising source in today’s paper is you, yourselves. Yes, you must have some kind of explanation as to why you’ve made this terrible decision to move to a more ‘engaging’ format but I highly doubt it warrants five pages of advertising within the first 21 pages of space used for NEWS reporting. Is this really the biggest news of the day? And if it’s not news, then your colour-coding is lying to me. On day one!
Additionally, instead of having maybe, six or seven articles to a page, we now have one, and that one report takes up half the space while the other 50% is filled with advertising (and as we established, mostly yours). Your paper is now more ads than news, and the funny thing is, on pages 20 and 21, you’re advertising your new format to those who’ve already made it that far into the paper. Chances are they’re wanting more real news and less ads at this point, yet the surprises today just keep on coming. You explain Matt Martel “spent a couple of hundred dollars buying up French newspapers, Spanish newspapers, Dutch newspapers…” to see what ‘worked’ and what didn’t. But maybe that money could have been better spent interviewing Australians, your primary readers, and you could have applied those findings to your investigation.
And the thing is, it’s not the compact format I am against. I am a frequent user of Melbourne’s public transport system. I like to read my news, in the morning, in print. The broadsheet was awkward to hold and its pages were messy to turn in such close proximity to other commuters. But what I am challenging here, is the content. The way it is presented. The news to advertising ratio. The commercial look. The cheesy use of colour. The font that reminds me of comic sans even though it’s not. The weather page is hard to understand. The ‘cheap factor’ has increased and the aesthetic appeal has been washed away with last week’s rain. And now a footy fanatic must wait until their spouse/friend/family member has finished reading about global politics before they can analyse their team’s victory from Sunday’s twilight match. Or vise-versa. And clealry, that is about as far from Melbournian as it comes.
So, Greg Hywood (CEO and MD), David Housego (CFO) and the Board of Fairfax Media, I ask you, what would the late David Syme, founder and cultivator of your fruits, say about this new Age? Or maybe you could just ask some of your loyal readers, that might be easier.
I want to coin #bringbackbroadsheet and set it off on Twitter. I want you to know how I feel, and how I’ve no doubt, many of your thousands of readers feel. Because today is no doubt, one of the Darkest Days in Australian Media. Stuff sport, politics and the ‘big banks’ lies’ you speak of. You’ve topped the lot. And prepare for the onslaught and retaliation you’ve sparked. Because you can’t change a Melbourne institution without hearing from the people. So hear you will.
countingletters 